Friday, May 20, 2011

7 WAYS TO FIGHT LAZINESS


As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),


THE SEVEN WAYS TO FIGHT 




LAZINESS, BOREDOM & WEAKNESS WHEN TRYING TO STUDY

By: Sheikh Ahmed Najmi

The Questioner says:

"I'm weak in my reading the books of benefit and when I begin to read some of the books of `Ilm (knowledge) I feel weakness and boredom; so what is your advice for me, and what is the correct path in reading the books which contain beneficial knowledge; benefit us (those seeking reward)?"

Firstly:
It is a must for the one who seeks knowledge to purify his intention for Allah the Lord of the worlds, and make his seeking the `Ilm (knowledge) being only for the purpose and goal of obtaining the pleasure of Allah; and in order to know the truth, to act by it, and to know falsehood so as to refrain from it.

Secondly:
To act by that, which he has learned from knowledge within in himself, and to try and teach what he has learned from knowledge to others.

Thirdly:
To safeguard what he has learned by memorizing it, and reviewing the `Ilm (knowledge) so it does not escape him.

Fourthly:
To be steadfast in learning what he does not know, so to add knowledge on top of knowledge.

Fifthly:
To ask Allah constantly to bestow & grant him with beneficial knowledge and provisions that are vast, and actions that are accepted; and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would say if he prayed the Fajr prayer after he would make Taslim (Salam to the right then the left) this Du'a:

"O Allah, I ask you for knowledge which is beneficial and sustenance which is good, and deeds which are acceptable." (To be said after making salaam for the Fajr prayer)

Sixthly:
If he was to feel tired and weak when he is in front of knowledge and ready to study, then he should ask Allah to make for him will power and a desire to gain knowledge and dedicate himself to it.

Seventhly:
Its obligatory on the student of knowledge to refrain from disobedience, for indeed disobedience kills the heart and weakens the understanding and its narrated about Imam Shafi'i he said: "I complained to my teacher Wa'ki about my weak memory so he directed me to leave of sin and then he said, `know!!!! That knowledge is light; and the light of Allah He does not give it to a disobedient person." And I say the proof for that is found in the Book of Allah when He Glorified be He Says,

"O you who believe! If you obey and Fear Allah, He will grant you Furqan a criterion, and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you, and Allah is the Owner of Great Bounty." [Noble Quran 8:29]

"O you who believe Fear Allah, and believe too in His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), he will give you a double portion of His Mercy, and he will give you a light by which you shall walk (straight), and he will forgive you. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. So what is important is that the student of knowledge needs consistent striving, striving against himself and against ones passions and lower desires and its greed, and to tire himself out in acquiring knowledge, and to hope that Allah will enable him to achieve that, and the success (Tawfiq) is from Allah." [Noble Quran 57:28] 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Tips on How to Treat Our Mothers


As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),


Tips on How to Treat Our Mothers

And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. [Noble Quran 31:14]

They carried us in their wombs for nine months, then endured the pain of labor, and then nurtured us and did everything for us when we were helpless babies and children; they bear the teenage years with patience and advice. We hope this compilation of ways on how to treat our mothers will put a smile on the faces of your mothers, and let them know we have not forgotten what they go through. A smile with a warm embrace.

Saying thanks often.

An offer to wash up the dishes.

A cup of tea without her asking.

Recite her favorite Surah,

Tidy round after she goes to bed, so that when she wakes up the house is tidy.

Buy her little ornaments for round the house so when she sees them she remembers you.

Rub her feet (after all, that's where Paradise is).

Phone your mum just to tell her you love her.

Buy her surprise gifts.

Go to her when she calls you.

Write a poem for her.

If you're on the phone, and your mother is asking something tell the person to wait.

Cook for her.

Let her teach you to cook even if you know, she will enjoy the fact that you're coming to her to ask.

Bring your wife to her to learn how to cook, she will enjoy teaching her your favorite recipes, and both of you praise her cooking.

Clean the house without your mum having to ask.

Tell her how happy you are that she is a part of your life and your own families.

Always take your mothers side in front of your wife and mother over differing opinions; you can appease your wife later on out of sight.

Give her money to treat herself.

Make breakfast for her.

Go to get the shopping for her.

If your mother likes to get the shopping, in then be patient with her as she goes up and down the aisles.

Do your own washing and ironing.

Spread the salaam when you leave and return from the home.

Comb her hair.

Massage her shoulders.

Do well in school

Pray all your prayers on time

Help with your younger siblings so she can put her feet up.

Teach your younger siblings to also help around the house, a mother needs time for her Ibadah too; her Ibadah should not have to fit around housework all the time.

Look good and smell nice and be polite so that you're a good example of her upbringing.

Don't always have your mum waking you up for prayer; try to wake her up instead.

Help her with new technology, this stimulates her brain and keeps her mentally fit.

Take an interest in her hobbies. If its sewing making sure she has all the things she needs. Ooo and ahhh, at her creations.

Listen to lectures together; watch programs together this is what makes the bond stronger between you.

Take the bins out and remember to bring them in, once they are emptied, this chore is something Muslim mums don't like as they have to cover them selves all up to take it out.

If affordable, try to buy her the best and freshest food at the supermarket

Take her out for drives in the car, especially if you live in the city take her to the countryside, go with the whole family and take a picnic.

When you drive make sure you remember that there is a fragile vessel beside you, who would like to see what's out of the window rather than a blur because you're speeding. No white knuckle rides please.

Ask your mother about her youth, most mothers love recalling their past

Be good to her relatives and her friends

Name some of your children after her side of the family, as a lot of the time it's the dad who chooses her children's names.

Have a good relationship with your brothers and sisters; there is nothing more worrying to a mother than seeing her children at odds with one another.

Never raise your voice or speak in a harsh tone to your mother.

Tell her regularly what's going on in your life, don't let her hear your news from others.

Seek her opinion in all major decisions, she has been there and done that.

Always thank and praise her for the good job she has done over the years.

Kiss her when you go and come from the house.

Make Du'a for her

Always ask her to make Du'a for you and your family, this brings her closer to your family.

Ring your mother if you're going to be late getting home.

Try not to stay out too late, as she will not sleep till you're safely inside.

Be patient when she is not feeling well, bring her all she needs, and go with her to the doctors so she has support.

Remind your mother to be a good Muslimah , and tell her heart softening stories and about paradise and hell.

Read to her Islamic books

What ever you learned in a gathering or class, share it with her.

Remind her to read Surah al-Kahf on Fridays

Take her to the mosque if she wishes to go.

Make sure she has contact with other good sisters who will increase her Iman.

Take her to her friends yourself or arrange transport.

Invite her to your house at the weekend.

Take cooked food to her, to give her a rest.

Encourage her to do the Sunnah fasts, and then break fast with each other.

Know what makes your mother smile and do it often.

Be an active and a productive member of society. Mothers are happy when they see this.

Buy your mum flowers, the smell and prettiness of flowers do wonders.

Lead your mother and family in the Salah.

Get married and choose a spouse who your mother approves of.

Choose a wife who is soft hearted and will treat your mother well.

Don't put off jobs that need done around the house.

Remind her always of the traps of the Shaytan, remind her to do her daily Adkhars.

Choose your own friends wisely.

Pay for her to do Hajj and Umrah and go with her.

Don't remind her of how much you spent on her.

Look after her health, reminding her of the benefits of a good diet and some exercise.

Always ask your mums advice about your own household, this makes her happy and lets her know you value her opinion.

If there is any problem with your wife and mother, then never carry tales saying what the other said as most of that is done in anger.

Read Ruqya Ayat over water and give her it to drink.

Buy her beauty products, and perfumes.

Be there when there is any lifting to be done.

Let her listen and correct your mistakes, when you're memorizing Quran.

Always intervene in any disputes between your parents calmly.

Give her some money from your salary every month, so she can save for something she wants to buy, or to give in charity.

Lay your head in each others lap, you might be 12 or 40 but in your mothers eyes you're still her child.

Give charity on her behalf regularly.

Give charity on behalf of her deceased relatives.

Buy her gold, women like it and it's an investment.

Listen to her complaints with understanding, and give her solutions that she can imply to make her life better.

Walk at her pace with her on the inside protected from the road.

If she wants to share what's in her glass with you, drink from the same side she drank from.

Just like children who need quality time, give this to your mother also.

Serve her first with the food.

When you give her a drink, wait till she has finished then take away her glass.

Use affectionate terms for her and other motherly terms of affection.

When you see her doing something wrong, even in that disobedience treat her gently and with the upmost respect.

Always open the door for her.

Try to always speak in her mother tongue, and if your not then translate word for word, so she does not feel left out.

Remind her of the rights Islam has bestowed on the mother, and tell her good stories of how others treat their mothers.

Never cut your mother off when she is speaking, and be patient when she cuts you off.

Sit at her feet and listen to what she is saying.

Make her a large part of your grandchildren's lives; always bring them over to visit.

Teach your own children to respect their grandparents as well.

If you are in a class and you are unsure as to why mum is calling then leave the class to answer the call.'

When you're angry with each other, don't leave the house, and don't refuse her food, or any attempts your mother makes to make amends, try to be the first one to defuse the situation.

Always knock on her bedroom door before entering

Don't enter into debates that you know will irritate each other, especially in the morning and at night.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Do Muslims Beat Their Wives?


As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),

"Do Muslims Beat Their Wives?"
Answer - "NO" Special Update: Islam Forbids All Oppression
Compiled by Yusuf Estes


Women Treatment in Islam

We receive many questions about the treatment of women in Islam in general and what Muslim men do with their wives in particular. The following should help to shed some light on this most important subject.

Question:
I have a question about the treatment of the women in Islam. Could you please tell us why the Quran tells men to "Beat them" meaning their wives?" [Noble Quran 4:34]
Answer:
Let us consider a very basic understanding of the advent of Islam and the reason for it to be revealed in the time and place where it came. Here is a brief, yet clear statement of purpose with the coming of Islam:

Treatment in Relationships - in Islam, it is all about treatment; how you treat your Lord; how you treat His messenger; how you treat yourself; how you treat your family; how you treat others; how you treat your enviornment - it is always about treatement.

We must keep in mind the condition of the people who were without the guidance of Almighty God and how they had strayed far away from the message that came with Adam, Abraham, Moses and other great prophets, peace be upon them all.

The ignorant and selfish mentality the prevailed throughout the Arab lands did not allow women even the most basic of rights and the treatment of women was abhorent. Women were being treated as property, even less than the status of livestock. They were offered in trade or taken in marriage without consent or consideration for their feelings at all. The customs of the people at the time were far away from anything we might imagine today.

Statements in the Quran pertaining to the treatment of the women came to improve their condition and to raise their status to a level of balance alongside of men. Islam came to change the hearts of the people and show them the proper way to worship Allah and to interact with each other.

Now let us review the proper method of providing answers for Islam in general.

First we would say, "Thank you for asking about Islam. It is our committment to try our best to provide answers to questions to the best of our ability. However, sometimes we come across questions for which we do not have answers. In this case we will refer you to others who may be able to provide you with proper answers."

Second, we remind ourselves and the one questioning Islam to be aware, we as Muslims, must never lie about anything, especially our religion.

Third, we do have the original text of the Quran and the preserved teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him. This enables us to verify exactly what was said, intended and taught by Muhammad, peace be upon him, as being the religion of Islam.

Fourth, I would like to remind myself and all who read this in the future that not all questions are purely questions. Some contain statements and implications, that may or may not be true.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind anytime we discover something in the answers to actually be better than what we already have, we should be committed to change our position and accept that which is true over that which is false and take that which is better for that which is inferior.

After taking all of the above into consideration, if we find that the answer to this question provides us with a better approach to understanding what Almighty God has provided us with as a way of life on this earth and in the Next Life, we should then make the logical decsion to begin to worship Him on His terms.

Having said that, let us now look to the particular verse in question in the original text (Arabic), followed by the phonetic sounds in Latin letters and then finally, followed by a translation of the meaning to the English language by experts in both Arabic and in Quranic meanings.


Transliteration

Ar-rejalu qawwa muna 'alan-nisa'a bima fadhdhallahu ba'dhahum 'ala bi'dhi wa bima anfaqu min amwalihim. Fas-saliHatu qaintat HafaTHatul-lilghaybi bimaa HafiTHal-lahu, wal-lati takhafuna nushuza hunna fa'iTHuu hunna wa hjuruu hunna fiil-lmadha ji'i wadhribu hunna. Fa'in aTa'nakum flaa tabghuu 'alayhinna sabiilan. Innal-laha kaana 'aliyaan kabiira(n).

One Explanation (tafsir) given of this surahc (chapter 4:34) according to some scholars is:

"Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women who are averse in behavior, talk to them suasively, leave them alone in bed and tap them (like a doctor would tap a patient - lightly), if they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is sublime and great."

Meaning of the Words

For the three words fa'izu, wahjaru, and wadribu in the original, translated here 'talk to them suasively,' 'leave them alone (in bed - fi'l-madage'),' and tap lightly (percuss them), respectively,

Fa'izu (to use persuasive speech or admonishment)

Fa'izu, implies the first step should be to make clear to them using straight talk, the position they are in and what is required to comply with the teaching of Islam. This approach may be repeated until it is established she has understood and is willing to comply and come back into line with the proper expected of a Muslim woman.

Hajara - Wahjaru (do not touch or molest them)

Hajara, he says, means to separate body from body, and points out that the expression wahjaru hunna metaphorically means to refrain from touching or molesting them. Zamakhshari is more explicit in his Kshshaf when he says, 'do not get inside their blankets.'
Daraba (tap lightly as 'percuss', not to beat)

Daraba (lightly tap them (women).' This view is strengthened by the Prophet's authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim:

"Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?"

There are other traditions in Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying:

"Never beat God's handmaidens."

Source:

Al-Quran: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79

In the past, some translators of this verse have mistakeningly used the word "beat" to represent the word "dhaaraba" in Arabic. This is not the opinion of all scholars and those who are well grounded in both Islam understanding and the English language.

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend from their means (to support the women). Therefore the righteous women are devout and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, go back to them (in intimacy), if they return to obedience and do not seek any means of annoyance against them. Certainly, Allah is Most High, Most Great. [Noble Quran 4:34]

Other translators have offered words such as, "tap" and "pat" to represent a physical type of admonisment. While definitely coming closer to what might be acceptable in many circles than such expressions as "hit" or "beat", this still does not properly demonstrate the position and usage of such terms in relation to the first of the verse and the connection to the following passage, wherein the clear instructions deal with the women who do not come into compliance. Therefore, it likely be considered to mean: "tap lightly as a doctor would examine a patient".

We understand from this some of the translations are not properly representing the spirit of the meaning. Therefore, they cannot be considered to be the representation of what has been intended by Almighty God.

Now we can properly understand that Almighty God has commanded the men to provide for the women and allow them to keep all of their wealth, inheritance and income without demanding anything from them for support and maintenance. Additionally, if she should be guilty of lewd or indecent conduct, the husband is told to first, admonish her and then she should cease this lewdness. However, if she should continue in this indecency, then he should no longer share the bed with her, and this would continue for a period of time. Finally, if she would repent then he would take up sharing the bed with her again.

Dr. Jamal Badawi (St. Mary's University, Nova Scotia) is of the opinion these (three stages) are necessary steps prior to divorce. Instead of a man saying, "I divorce you" three times in a row, he should follow this procedure before acting hastily and thereby doing something unwise and displeasing to Allah. The first step would be as mentioned above, to give her a "good talking to" and then if she continued in such unpleasing behavior, to leave the bed (not have intercourse with her) for a period of time and then finally, the last straw would be to "pat" her on the arm (as you would stroke a sheep or animal) to signify to her this is the final straw and then if she still persisted in her bad way, he could divorce her.

Regardless of the various positions and opinions, there is no permission established through the teachings of the Quran or the Sunnah (way) of Muhammad, peace be upon him, wherein one person could "beat" another person at their own discretion.

Any translations of the Quran indicating women can be beaten or abused by men is totally out of touch with the message of Islam from the rest of the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him.

And Allah is All Knowing of the meanings of His ayahs (verses in Quran)