Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Righteous Wife

As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),

Attributes of a Righteous Wife

"If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (i.e. Ramadan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, 'Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.'" [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Devotion and Obedience to Allah such that she fulfills His rights, such as the prayer, fasting, chastity covering herself, withholding her gaze and so on. 


Obedience to Her Husband in that which does not involve disobedience to Allah such that she fulfills his rights completely. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the woman will not fulfill the rights of her Lord until she fulfills the rights of her husband; and even if he were to request her for herself (i.e. to have intercourse with her) whilst she was sitting upon a camel's saddle, she should not refuse him." [Sahih, reported by Ibn Majah and Ahmad from Abdullah ibn Awfa] 


That She Guards and Preserves Herself and Her Honor, in the Absence of Her Husband, from the hand of anyone wishing to touch her, the eye of anyone wishing to look upon her, and the ear of anyone wishing to listen to her. 

Likewise that she preserves her husband's children, home and wealth. Allah says:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)..." [Noble Quran 4:34] 


Serving Her Husband. 

From Husain ibn Mihsan who said that my paternal aunt said,

"I came to Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) for some need, so he asked, 'You there! Are you married?' I replied, 'Yes.' He then asked, 'How are you towards your husband?' She responded, 'I do not fall short in his service except with regard to what I am unable to do.' He said, 'Then look to your standing with him, for indeed he is your Paradise and your Fire.'" [Sahih, reported by al-Hadim and others]

Here is an example of how Asma bint Abu Bakr served her husband. She said,

"Az-Zubayr married me and he did not have any property or slaves or anything upon the earth except for a camel which drew water from the well and his horse. So I used to feed his horse, draw the water, stitch his water bucket, and prepare the dough, but I was not proficient in baking bread - so ladies from the Ansar who were my neighbors and were honorable used to bake the bread for me. I also used to carry the date-stones upon my head, from the land given to Az-Zubayr by Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) - and it was about two miles away. One day when I was coming with the date-stones on my head, I met Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and a group of the Ansar were with him. So he called me and said, 'ikh, ikh (a word said to make the camel kneel down.).' in order to carry me behind him upon the camel. But I felt shy to proceed along with the men, and I thought of Az-Zubayr and his sense of jealousy, and he was one of the most jealous of the people. So Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) saw my shyness and so passed on. So I came to Az-Zubayr and said, 'Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) met me while I was carrying the date-stones upon my head and with him were a group of his Companions. He caused his riding camel to kneel, but I felt shy and remembered your sense of jealousy.' So he said, 'By Allah your having to carry the date-stones is harder upon me than that you should ride along with him.'" She said, "Then later on Abu Bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, so it was if he had set me free." [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim] 


Keeping the Husband's Secrets. 

Particularly what occurs between him and her in private - with regard to sexual matters and the private affairs within the marriage.

From Asma bint Yazid who said that she was in the company of Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and men and women were sitting, and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"Perhaps a man mentions that which he did with his wife, and perhaps a woman informs of what she does with her husband?!" So the people were silent, so I said, "Yes, by Allah,, O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)! The women certainly do that, and the men certainly do that." He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Then do not do so, since that is just like a male devil meeting a female devil upon the way, and he has intercourse with her while the people are watching." [Reported by Ahmad and there are witnessing narration's which raise it to the level of being Sahih or Hasan at the very least] 

She Should Appear Before the Husband in the Best Appearance, such that if he looks at her it pleases him.

Abu Hurairah narrates: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked, "Which of the women is the best?" He replied, "The one who gives him (the husband) pleasure when he looks (at her outer beauty, or the inner beauty of her good character and how she devotes herself to obedience to Allah and Taqwa); obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes." [Sahih Muslim, reported by an-Nasa'i, al-Hakim and Ahmad]


She Should Not Permit Anyone to Enter Her Husband's House Except With His Permission

From Abu Hurairah who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission; nor may she permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and whatever she spends in charity without his order - then half of the reward is for him." [Reported by Al-Bukhari] 

She Should Not Ask Her Husband For Divorce Without a Reason Necessitating That 

From Thawban who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"Whichever woman asks her husband for divorce without a strong reason - then the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden for her."[Sahih Muslim, reported by Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and others] 

Avoidance of Cursing

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri said, "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) went out to the prayer-ground for the (prayer of) Adha or Fitr, and he passed by the women and said,

'O women! Give in charity, for I have been shown that you shall be the majority of the people in the Fire.' So they asked, 'Why is that, O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)!' He replied, 'You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.'"[Reported by Al-Bukhari] 

Being Thankful to the Husband for the good he does and for his good treatment to his wife.

This is accomplished by good words, and by her obedience to him in what is good, and by not forgetting his good treatment and avoiding denying this, since that is one of the reasons which brings about the entry into the Fire.

From Ibn Abbas who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"I was shown the Fire and found that the majority of its inhabitants were women, due to ingratitude. It was said: "Is it that they disbelieve in Allah?" He said: They are ungrateful to their husbands and deny the good they do. If you were to treat one of them well always, and she then saw something (displeasing) from you she would say: 'I have never seen any good from you.'" [Reported by Al-Bukhari] 


She Should Not Remove Her Clothes Outside Her Husband's House

Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"Whichever woman removes her clothes in other than her house, then Allah, will tear down His cover from her." [Sahih-Jami, reported by al-Hakim and others]

What is apparent is that removal of her clothing means uncovering herself to strange males, for the purpose of sexual intercourse or that which leads to it. 

Striving to Please the Husband by Every Possible Means

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"Your women from the people of Paradise are the beloved and fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, who if her husband becomes angry - comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, 'I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).'"